My name is Jake, and I like pizza. Unless you’re some sort of controversialist, sadly attempting to draw attention to yourself, I’ll wager that you too like pizza. Pittsburgh offers a multitude of options from fancy wood fired pizza, to neighborhood favorites, to unique regional styles of pizza, and, of course, the ever so dull national chains. I’ve sampled numerous slices in the city of Pittsburgh and heard the opinions of countless individuals on where they think the best pizza can be found in and around the three rivers. I’ve endured these tales of who has the best pizza and decided that I want to put the arguments to the test.
“But, Jake, with so many different joints and styles of pizza how will you ever find out who has the best?” Great question, fake person! To answer that, I have to consider the options. I could just try a bunch of places and deliver my opinions to the public with no specific format, however, that idea seems lazy and void of fun. I could make a list ranking the best spots counting up to number one, but many others have already done so. Instead, I look to sports, because head to head competition is always better. How do most of them figure out who the best is every year? They do so with a tournament, and no tournament is more recognizable than the NCAA’s March Madness basketball tournament.
Every March, the 64 (okay, technically, 68) best college basketball teams in the country compete head to head in a tournament to crown a champion. This endeavor will be just like that, but with fewer “teams” and less taking advantage of student athletes to make a fuck load of money.
Pittsburgh Pizza Madness will pit 32 establishments against one another in a tournament that will lead to One Shining Moment for the best pizza in Pittsburgh. I cordially invite you to observe and participate in my venture to determine the best pizza in Pittsburgh.